12.02.2005
It's that time again where you feel like you don't know me anymore, and then I finally write again and you check three weeks after it's written and find, "Oh! She's still alive."Yes, time again.
So what's been happening?
Let's get the latest on the sickness issue.
I'm finally free!! Almost. I'm lactose intolerant. How obvious, but not really. Anyway, it's a pretty simple fix. I've only had a freak-out moment once since I started taking meds. I just have to avoid lots of dairy. Lucky me, I'm alright. I'm not going to die.
Let's see, what's next?
The girl problem? No, let's try to knock things off in order.
Ah ha, cosplay. I have a lot to say about this one that might make some people straightened out a little about the bitter parts they have heard. You see, you shouldn't try to give me a solution when you don't even know what's been up. So shush.
Let's start out with some applause and photos.
Yep, that's all. Sam and me. Sisters, but not really. The photos aren't all that great because they were taken during classes, so we were both really embarassed and didn't want to pose or look too happy. I look like a slob, but that's all I have right now. Sam looked really good, but someone teased her for looking swedish. They don't even know where Sweden is.
Anyway, for first official costumes, I think they're pretty good. Of course, there are things that we left out, but I had limited time, supplies, and skills.
Bentley and Taylor dropped out. Bent thought it was embarassing(true) and Taylor... well, she just mainly follows her sister with these things. So, I had already bought all of the material myself(which I made clear I wouldn't do, and shouldn't have) and had Xing Cai's skirt nearly done for Tay. Well, so much for hard work and reliability.
Sam and I complained about that for a good while, but I really don't care all that much anymore. I guess there are just few people in this world that you can find that will appreciate you.
There were other things that happened like childish defense; "I didn't say I wanted that," and "You never asked me," type of things. Oh well, I don't care what the excuse is. If you had a problem, you have brain enough to know I was working on it and you could have told me you were having problems with self esteem or whatever the problem was.
"I'm not going to wear it anyway," isn't exactly the best way to say it. Mm'kay?
Alright, that wasn't really a lot to say, and it didn't straighten anything weird out. That's alright. I know what happened, and if I could, I would forget it. I just want to move on. We can't stop it.
NEXT
I think that girl must be next. Things have been alright. They only approached me once after the last bout, but that's only because I adjusted my schedual so I wouldn't seen her and her dumb friend in the hall, and I guess Pamby got kicked off the bus or rides with someone now or something. So things are fine so far. I still want to write that paper, but I get so flustered when I start writing it that I just ramble on about how stupid people are and how there just shouldn't be public schools at all!!
So being harrassed isn't as huge of an issue as it was before, thank goodness.
It seems like I never write anything uplifting in here. I don't think I do. That because when I'm happy I am having a good time, out there, where I don't need imaginary friends. But when things go wrong, this is what I do. Someday I will pause in my happy moment and record the joy in my life.
Until I am happy again, I will tell you sometime very important to me.
They're both gone now. Remember when I wrote about "having her wrapped in a towel,"? That was my baby, Wart, and I still haven't gotten over her death.
Oh, I knew I should have done this tonight. I'm going to start crying all over again.
Has it even been a year since Sandy left? Yes, it's been almost a year and a half now I think. Then, after years of suffering, Wart finally decided it was time to leave also. But we really makes me so mad, is she didn't die from her own causes, we lost her because a beast attacked her and tore her back to peices. This makes me hate to such an extreme level, I feel like I'll just burst.
And now ET is gone. I don't even know what happened. I don't see how anything could have. She was just always fine. Then she stopped eating... and she couldn't even walk. Oh, God, why is everyone leaving all at once?
You shouldn't have left. You were fine. There was no reason for you to leave. Now I don't know what to do with myself. Everyone is always leaving me, and I get so lonely.
Crying out of frustration or blunt troubles is so different than crying from death.
Current 4 (GREEN is changed from last current)
Current Vocal Artist - Hello! Project
Current Obsession - We :heart: Katamari
Current Dance Desires - PV making
Current Pains - neck, mind, heart
Current Desires to Create - Kitty hats, scarfs, patch skirt, snail purse, sketching, bloomers, personal charcters, tie skirt, pants
Current "Childhood" Wishes(things I wish I would have learned as a child) - singing, japanese language, dance
Current "I wish I could..." - draw something(that looks good) original for a change, stop worrying, stop taking care of everyone, have magical powers(specifically to control the weather and life)
Currently Waiting For - card skirt, anime order, Eri
Current Fears - school, death
Current Laughs Over - Calvin and Hobbes
Current Hair Obsession - Asian style, med/short spikey piggies, my own. I love it much. Braids, fringe
Current Awesome Manga - Kare Kano, Aria, B.B. Explosion, Full Moon
Current Song - Explosion, Mienai Tsubasa, Secret Base
Current Wannabe - Famous everything(singer, dancer, writer, photographer, artist...)
Current Cuteness - white blocks(WHERE ARE THEY?!?!??!), little fluffies, colourful clips
Current Subscription(wish) - FRUiTS
Current Video Game Wants - Phantom Brave, Okage, Threads of Fate, those awesome japanese RPGs that I could never have, Dynasty Warriors 4, 5, Harvest Moon
Current Procrastination - Exist, sending letters, math
Current Obligation - Nurturing my own soul. And stomach.
Current Disgust - Myself, Lactose free milk, Kemp
Current Style - Cutely Sophisticated
Current Question - Do you still love me? When will I see you? Why can't you stay alive for me?
Current "Will I ever" - Stop crying for her, face the reality of life, find someone to take care of me, make comics, look how I want, get a hair person to do what I tell them to do, make things better between us, see Emily, write again?
Current Awesomeness - The Prince
Current Frustration - When will everyone stop dying?
Current Anime Want - Full Moon o Sagashite
Current Stuckethness - Cookie and Cream - the Moon boss, Arc the Lad - I forget, Kingdom Hearts - Hallow Bastion again, La Pucelle - Dragonshrooms ><, Grandia - Gaia
Current Tears - Everyone is leaving all at once, and I'll never see them again.
1 comments
.::. Lisa .::. 3:37 PM
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