5.16.2004
Hallelujah! What a miracle! I was sure my last post was deleted because when I clicked "Publush Post" my pages closed and some error popped up. I almsot started crying again. After all I had written....holy cow. I would have really gone insane if it wasn't saved...
so...
yay!
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.::. Lisa .::. 11:11 PM
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It's been a while since I last cried. It's about time I got some of that salt out of my eyes. I wish I would hurry up and get it over with though. It hurts my throat. My nose gets all gross too. How annoying. Crying is annoying. Death upon tears!
Why am I crying? Well, this is me trying to think up excuses...
I'm stressed
I'm tired
I feel neglected
There, those are my reasons. Now, would someone give me a hug and tell me to get over it?!
Went to see Ella Enchanted today. Oh, man...It was so.....I mean, INSANELY.....disappointing.
The theater stopped playing it after it ran for only two weeks because no one was showing up to watch it. I'd been pushing people to take me there before it was out of theaters...
Three years. I waited three years to go there and have them tell me it wasn't playing. Maybe that's why I'm crying. I know I'll just have to buy the movie sooner or later anyway. But it's not the same. I'll probably hate the movie anyway. It looks really bad from the previews. Well, there's another thing to add to my...."This is a poo list" list.
I know I'm being an idiot, some sometimes you just have to be an idiot. I can come back at myself with all these words saying, "You'll get over it. It's not the end of the world. That is so selfish. Stop being so immature and grow up." I know all those things. But at the moment, I don't care. Tomorrow I'll be perfectly fine(hopefully) and I'll smile some time throughout the day. I'll think, "How could I be so stupid?" but I won't understand.
"What's wrong?"
"...I don't know"
"Oh, okay, good-bye"
Thank you for caring. And I know you do. But....
I think I'm going to stay up late tonight. I'll find something to do. Hopefully. Like....eat....or draw. Or eat and draw. I can't sleep when I'm like this anyway. That's probably why I could sleep for those months. I don't know.
Am I spelling probably right? Probabbly. Probablly. Probabley. Yeah, I think I was spelling it right before. Yay for me....
I played DDR Extreme today. I wasted money on it too. The first time I played I chose the wrong option and it was defiantly not the easy option. Didn't get through 10 seconds of it before the "FAILED" came up. So we tried it again. That happened the last time too. That was a bummer. Ending it off with a bad one. I want that game a lot. Someone donate? Please?
Yeah, I'm definitely stalling. I don't want to go to my room. It will make me depressed.
Watched Peter Pan today. That was such a good movie. Though the TV we watched it on was really close to death and all the people's faces were green. It made their eyes look so pretty though. The boy that played Peter Pan was so cute. I wanted to adopt him and take him home with me. The ending was sad though. I don't see how they could make it good though. His home was in Neverland. Wendy's home was with her parents. They had to be apart. They were supposed to be together...and live happily ever after. What's a romantic story without the guy and the girl being together? He lied to her too. He said he would return to her and visit. But he never did. I wonder if he died because of sorrow?
I met Luffmado's puppy today. He's the cutest bugger. He's very tiny and won't be much bigger when he's a grown doggie. What a lovely thing. Too bad he has to piddle every ten or twenty minutes. He's must be a handful to take care of. Such a sweetheart though. Such a doll....he's so cute when he's asleep ^^
Which reminds me...Davy won't be at camp this year. I'm going to miss him lots. None of the original staff with be there because of work and college. I won't be there the first week because I'm going to be away. Krumpy and Srah will be at college. I dunno if Chef will be there. We didn't really bond much anyway last year so I don't know if it really matters much to me. I hope that lady doesn't try to take my place in canteen(the staff sells candy and drinks to the youth). Let us list the reasons....
She's not a teenager! Canteen is the teen job! It always has been and I'm not going to let that lady change it!!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG FEAR MEEEEEEEEE
She doesn't know how the system works. It takes a lot to train a person. Especially someone like her.
It's very fast pace! I don't think she could handle it, let along "HELP"
There's not that much room in there. You need to have at least three people. Two for cards, AT LEAST one for running around and grabbing stuff(VERY TOUGH AND FAST PACE JOB). I'm sorry but, there's not enough room for you lass!
Besides.....she's bossy and annoying.
I know I'm being rude and mean. Boy, does it feel good to dump it. Sometimes you just gotta do it. Not all the time though. That'd be bad.
I'll hopefully catch the second week and get to retake my position. It won't really be all that fun without Davy or Srah. But it's better than nothing. I really hope I can make it....
Well, I changed the layout to my webpage. I think it looks much nicer now. Go educate yourself. I put up the "Meet Lee" page too so you can go there and find out some stuff about me. Not stalking though. I don't like that. I wouldn't be happy if you tried that. That would be mean.
Speaking of "mean". When we were at the theaters we though about seeing "Mean Girls". I want to eventually see it because it really depicts life at school well, but I think it would be a really crude movie and I wouldn't want to watch it with other people.
I'm strange. I know. I get picky about how I watch movies. So eat me.
Oh yeah, food. I'm going to go grab some. Potty too. That outta be fun.
Gotta have my Pops...
Why do they have so many Corn Flakes boxes in those 30 pack cereal assortment things? Does anyone even like Corn Flakes anymore? Come on! Keep up with the times! We've movied onto bigger and better things like...Lucky Charms and Cheerios! Raisin Bran! Rice Crispies! Shredded Wheat! SUGAR COATED EVEN! Frosted Flakes are better then...CORN Flakes. Sheesh.
I'm not too happy about how these Pops came out. All crushed and powdery-like. Like the bottom of the box. That's gross.
I miss my mommy. I want her to come walking down the stairs and talk to me. I always hoped that when I was a child and I would sit outside her room praying, "Lord, please tell her I need her and make her come out to me". Obviously the Lord had other plans. Sometimes I wish He would just go along with the little things I wanted though. I want my mommy. Is that so much to ask?
No offense to anyone, but I think Rocky Road anything tastes yucky.
I just had the craving to go skiing. Maybe it'll snow....
Oh yeah, it's the middle of May.
I hope school picks up and heads out soon. I'm sick of it. I want these stupid tests to hurry up and get over with. Bah, I don't even want to write about it.
So, I guess I am done rambling on about nothing. I have nothing better to do("There's always something better to do. Draw!" I can't draw like this) but I can't think of anything else to talk about either. I suppose I could try to sleep, but I know I couldn't. I'll start thinking again and get myself all worked up and won't be able to sleep OR type. Maybe I'll find something to do while I .... wait. I don't know what I'm waiting for though. Maybe I'm waiting to pass out. Maybe I'm waiting for dawn. Maybe I'm waiting for the end of the earth. Crap, I hope the world doesn't end tomorrow. I'd hate for the world to end when I'm in a bad mood. Or when I just learned how to play DDR. That'd stink.
peices. and fishk
=Lee
Current Music: none
Current food/drink: cookie
Current Mood: not happy
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.::. Lisa .::. 9:44 PM
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5.11.2004
Mommy is okay....Geez, I thought she was going to die. I wanted to get away so badly but I didn't want to leave her. There was nothing I could do(especially with me freaking out) but I still had to be there. Any opportunity to leave, I would take it, but I couldn't. I'm glad I couldn't, but at that moment I'd do anything to be away.
Scared I twas.
Mommy is feeling better now though. Phew...I need her.
I don't particularly want to go into details so I'll make it quick. Sis called dad and he came home and brought Mum to the hospital. She came home a few hours afterwards and was feeling alot better. Good good. But even thinking about it makes me want to cray again. So I'll stop.
Stop thinking about it.
Things have been frustrating this week and it's only Tuesday(almost wensday, I need to go to bed). I need to look around for my emotion pill things before I kill someone O.o
I drew some pretty cool pictures and put them in my Xanga page. I got pretty mad about the idiots that came into my post(I posted my oekaki on Gaia) and completely sucked everything that was good about the picture and spit on it. Arg....morons. I've only recently seen them. There's about three and they're going everywhere trashing people's art. Come on! We're not trying to be perfect! We're just sketching and making it look half decent and showing it off to people. Morons.
So, with that frustration out of the way, let us move on to more important things.
Was drafted into the Youth Service for this Sunday tonight. Fun stuff. Originally, I didn't really want to have anything to do with the youth anymore. They're really just a bunch of kids from school that got together and said, "We are youth. Bow to us" and give no respect to anyone. Little magots. But I think I'm getting to like them. The majority anyway. No, not the majority. The minority. Maybe. I'll have to check back on that one. Well, one of the girls was having a rough time tonight about her solo thing that she's going to sing, so I'm backing her up. Sort of. She not going to lead the song before it with the group so I'm going to. That's pretty much it. But before she got there we had to start(she was running late....-_-) so I took on her role for the while. It was actually fun, but when she got there I think I got intimidated. Whooo....
I'm hoping to get some video clips of the practice and the real thing too but I'm a bit worried about the camera. It's my mom's and I don't want the mag-....youth....to hurt it. It's VERY EXPENSIVE. I just don't really want her to have to worry about it or come along, because I know she really doesn't want to have to put up with them. I can handle it on my own. I think. Yeah, I can. I already told one of the guys I'd strangle him if he wouldn't behave.
Well, spinach quiz tomorrow. Social quiz tomorrow. Signed up for Social regents(...almost). I have to get moving. I haven't really had a chance to study yet and it's almost 12. I was just going to wait for my folder to move on the other drive(would take about 2 hours) but there's still 50 minutes left. It's very inaccurate. Time to sleep. Hopefully I'll get a chance to stufy in the morning. What was I doing all afternoon, you ask? Playing Parappa the Rapper 2(beat it, it was lame. First one was better) and MR. MOSQUITO!!!! That game is fun stuff. Someone buy it for me. I take donations! What was I doing while I was waiting, you ask? Drawing you silly goose!
Well, time to lay me down to sleep. And if I die before I wake...I guess I really won't have to worry about those quizes, will I!
Let's just hope I live through the night. I still have to get married you know!
=Lee
Current Music: sompathing. Christian radio songies
Current food/drink: NONE
Current mood: ...unsure. Really
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.::. Lisa .::. 11:29 PM
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5.08.2004
My mooma is sick :[ I am too. :[
I'm going to Cysse's house tonight and we're going to play DW3(yeah, I got it yesterday, Jak and Daxter too....whee!) and I'll just get a ride with her to church and come home afterwards. I was just going to come home tonight because my mom is sick but I have no way to get home. She worries me.....
I'm terrified. This is even worse then when Kether told me he was going to commit suicide.
Oh mommy, please don't be sick.
I want to stay with her but I can't. I can't handle this. I have to go away
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.::. Lisa .::. 11:23 AM
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5.04.2004
Yes! I got a 24/28 on my NYSSMA solo. Unlike last year, I didn't freak out and cry afterwards. I did really bad last year and I didn't deserve the good score that I got. I think I almost completely deserved my score this year. If I was judging me I would have given me a 22 or something. But WOOHOO!! I did fine. Just not the best. I could have done better but it was really early in the morning.
It's been a rough couple of days. I'm having some problems with someone I know. Have you ever had those people in your life that no matter how much you love then and care for them, you just can't get through to them on what's best? It's drving me insane. So many things happen at the same time that I just can't keep myself straight on these things...
Speaking of being "straight" ......
My sunday school class has started a petition on being against gay marriages. I've finally gotten it written up and printed out so I will start getting signatures tomorrow. Hopefully I won't chicken out on asking people to sign. Also, I want to get signatures from people online too. There are certain rules that go along with this, but if anyone wants any information on it PLEASE CONTACT ME and we will make arrangements.
Yay yay! I got a PS1 from someone the other day for free! I've never actually had a game system of my own. They've all belonged to my brother. But now I have one. Woohoo for me! Now all I want to know is what this guy was eating when he got all the insides and out sticky.
These are the things I've ordered that I'm expecting in the mail soon....
Jak and Daxter
Jak II
Dynasty Warriors 3
Kick the Can Crew - Good Music
Yay for me!
Well, I have stuff to do...that I forgot to do earlier. So I must be off
FAREWELL!!
Current Music: nuffin
Currently eating/drinking: nothing
Current Mood: irritated, queezy, stressed
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.::. Lisa .::. 9:48 PM
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