10.28.2004
I tried so hard to get through the day today, I was doing well too. The morning was rough; spells of nausea, pains... I made it though.
I was fine up until I watch my mom's van pull out of the school driveway and make it's way down the road. I had stopped to see the art teacher about getting help on realism and I had to talk to the history teacher about homework situations. That took about 10 minutes after all the buses had left. My mom was picking me up that day so I expected her to be waiting for me outside. Apparently it was later than I though because I looked to my right and saw her pulling out of the driveway. I ran towards her waving my arms but she didn't see me.
I feel really sick. Summing up.
I walked to the church freezing to death. I had a wicked ache in my ears. Of course, it was locked. I don't know why I didn't just go back in the school. I didn't really know what to do so I just kept walking. I felt fine until I started walking. I wanted to cry but everytime I would start a hand would squeeze my stomach. I couldn't. I followed the leaves to stewarts(literally) and thankfully spotted my uncle getting ready to leave. I caught up to him and asked for a ride home. Got home. Cried. I haven't been able to look my mom in the face since I got her. I'm not mad at her. I feel lost. What devistating defeat.
Oh, drama. Why must you attack me so?
-lee
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.::. Lisa .::. 4:03 PM
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10.26.2004
I feel like chewing with my mouth open today. No one can stop me.
I'm still sick. Yuck. I forgot what it's like to feel good. I beat FF9 yesterday. Yaaaay. What a great game. I heard somewhere in the depths of the internet that there were a couple different endings. I wonder if this is true. I want to play it again and get everything I didn't get before(i.e. chocobo stuff, mognet).
I've been getting better at updating my site. Go look. I'm getting worse at updating this. See?
DDR tourny/cosplay convent. at my house. Saturday. Be there. Luca is going be a hydrogen atom.
Haha, Amy is hilarious. For those who are too lazy to click a link to someone's site(wow, I'm surprised you got this far! Congrats!) I'll just put her text here...
"there's good a reason why i try to avoid using the computer labs at school. paranoia strikes and i can't stop looking over my shoulder every few seconds to make sure no one is behind me. i start going crazy, and i try to reduce the text size of my browser window to the very smallest possible size, but it's still never small enough to stop the paranoia. i sat in the computer lab, going crazy as my eyes darted left and right to make sure my neighbors weren't sneaking sneaky glances at my monitor. a man who sat to the right of me kept breathing heavily. he wore a plaid flannel shirt, slightly reminiscent of joey lawrence from blossom back in 1995. his breathing patterns were awfully disturbing. i was afraid that he'd passed out. his eyes sort of glazed over as if he was going to die or something. i don't think i'd know what to do if he had a heart attack and fell over on his chair. i probably would have poked his face to make sure he was still breathing. i started imagining in my head little scenarios of what i would do if such an event happened, "hello, 9-1-1, there is a man who just passed out next to me. please help." but, he didn't pass out. and he didn't have a heart attack, and i didn't have to call 9-1-1, either. so much for drama."
-Amy
Gee, I wish I could write like her. I wish I would write down all my thoughts. I'm constantly thinking up things like that in my head and I want to write them down, but I never do. For the two weeks we were in Florida I kept taking notes of what I wanted to write about. I already had a 4 page long entry in my head. I never wrote it here though. There are so many things I want to tell you, but I never do.
Oh right. The FRUiTS 'zine that I got was half of lame. It was mostly a bunch of girls that look like they should come from around here... ten years ago. Farmies. It reminded me of the time my oversized boot got stuck in the mud and my foot flew out of it. Just after everything stopped spinning I realized my face had dissappeared with my boot. Yay.
I need a camera. I want a super nice one with super speeeeed. Unlike the one my mom has that takes 10 seconds to snap a shot.
I love pictures. I just feel funny taking pictures of people. They move too much. I hate it when they put their hands in their face so they can't been seen, or duck behind someone or something. I don't like it when they pick out all the flaws in their pictures either. Pictures are fun. Live with it. Love it.
-Lee
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.::. Lisa .::. 3:17 PM
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10.20.2004
Another current post
Current Vocal Artist - Junior Senior
Current Obsession - Final Fantasy IX
Current Dance Desires - DDR in Passena or Canada(hallowe'en dance)
Current Pains - eyes... tired
Current Desires to Create - Kitty hats, scarfs, patch skirt, snail purse, vector art
Current "Childhood" Wishes(things I wish I would have learned as a child) - singing, japanese language
Current "I wish I could..." - draw something(that looks good) original for a change
Currently Waiting For - card skirt, kairi necklace, FRUiTS magezine, meryl earrings
Current Fears - school, vomiting
Current Laughs Over - tamagotchis
Current Hair Obsession - Asian style, med/short spikey piggies, my own. I love it much
Current Awesome Manga - Azumanga Diaoh "Fuggedaboudit!"
Current Song - PIZZA DANCE
Current Wannabe - Jpop girl
Current Cuteness - white blocks
Current Subscription - FRUiTS
Current Video Game Wants - Phantom Brave, Okage, Threads of Fate, those awesome japanese RPGs that I could never have, Dynasty Warriors 4
Current Procrastination - Exist, finishing scarf, sending letters, breaking it to you, science report
Current Obligation - everything
Current Disgust - Myself
Current Style - layers
Current Question - How do you make a kitty hat? Why am I sick? When will I be better? Why didn't you let me sleep? Where is my kitty? Why can't I be original? Why am I asking stupid questions?
Current "Will I ever" - sleep again, make comics, sew well, crochet well, look how I want, get a hair person to do what I tell them to do, get over it, be healthy again, get rid of this headache, write again?
Current Awesomeness - Luca, Timer, cpu
Current Frustration - WHY CANT I BE ORIGINAL?! "WhiteMateria" he's a jerk
Current Anime Want - Haibane Remnei
Current Stuckethness - Cookie and Cream - the Moon boss, Arc the Lad - I forget, FFX - Sin/Jecht, Kingdom Hearts - Hallow Bastion again
Current Tears - I'm sick, I'm frustrated, I'm hurt, I'm mad at that jerk for being a jerk
Current Music -
Current Food -
Current Mood -
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.::. Lisa .::. 1:47 PM
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10.12.2004
Nyooooo.... I feel so bad!! I haven't been around to talk to Andrew in a long time and I have barely gotten on the internet to blog or comment on anything. I talked to him for a sec tonight, long enough to tell him I had to leave and I said I'd be back at 8. Well, I was back at 8 but my dad was on so I went to play games for a while and sort of got sucked in. I come back and my message window is still open... Oops!! ARG!
There are definately a lot of things I want to write about, I just feel like I don't have enough time. Most of my free time I've been crochetting but I feel like there's no time at all. Obviously there is if I'm crochetting, but I just wish I had a really long break where I could update everything and write and draw and sew and crochet and... lots of things. A couple years ago I was bored a lot and didn't do much but look around at things online; look for games, try to find RP partners... Nothing interesting. Now I don't have enough time to go everything I want. There's just so much I want to do. I want to create! I want to build! Everything! I'm never bored anymore. Ever!! I get stressed out on weekends because I don't have time to do everything I want to do! Gah~!
So, this is about the best I can do for an entry today. I need to get my rest and I really want to crochet some more >_- I'm making a scarf for Bentley. She's having a rough time. One for Auntie Barb too. She's having a rough time too. I'm also entering an art contest on Gaia. I'm entering a writing contest too but I doubt I'll have time for it.
-Lee
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.::. Lisa .::. 9:50 PM
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10.04.2004
I'm in the sort of mood where I really don't care about anything that's going on with you. I'm being selfish. I just want everything to go well with me right now and I don't want to think about the things you're going through.
I've been wondering what good can come out of death. I know there must be something. After I finally had given up the pastor at the funeral started talking about becoming a Christian and where you would be when you died. I'm glad Eri was there to hear that. That must have been the good.
Yeah, I'm doing a real great job at expressing my Christianity by being selfish and not caring. Real great..
I wish my magazine would come already. It should be here by now.
I'm tired of getting excited about something and having my thoughts shot down like a popped balloon. I wish I could do things on my own. I wish I didn't have to rely on someone else on things I want to do.
That's enough of me. I'm going to go have a pity party now. RSVP only. You're not invited.
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.::. Lisa .::. 9:04 PM
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