12.31.2004
I have discovered, my friends, the most insignifigant thing in the world and I am so very proud of myself.
-I cannot write when-
-the sun us shining
-it is raining
-the wind is blowing
-my siblings are around
-people are in my house
-people are awake
-my hands are tied with 8 yards of chewed gum
-I am not insprired
So, let's review.
The sun is not shining.
It is not raining.
The wind is not blowing.
My siblings are away.
People are not in my house.
People are asleep.
My hands are NOT tied with 8 yards of chewed gum.
I am almost inspired.
I am writing.
But we do have a few set backs.
Uhh... my neck kind of hurts from leaning over to see the screen and it's wicked hot in here. I have been forced to put the laptop on my lap and I think I have started to melt. Mom will not be pleased if she sees I have spilled onto the carpet. Maybe I could say that the cat had another accident and the spill only happens to have resembled my melted body. Perhaps.
So, my inspiration for tonight was when I realized I really should pluckage my face and looked up pluckage on the internet. I know little of these things. Then I found a hairstyle link and thought, "Oh! Hair! I should do something with mine." so I found the asian hairstyle section. I was greatly disappointed. I do not want to look like a mushroom. So while looking elsewhere for a site with good asian styles, I came upon a diary that said so little about anything. I was disappointed once more. So here I am. Telling you why I have decided to tell you why I am writing. Finally.
This is where I apologize for slacking. I am ashamed. Greatly.
And this is where I gallop around and scream on about how I TOTALLY GOT A TABLET FOR CHRISTMAS!!!! but I think I might spare you for a moment or two. Exciting, isn't it?
And yes, this is where I share my joy and my griefs of drawing.
1/4 image - first drawing with tablet, artist - Lee Colouring - Lord Conti Personal opinion - Super cool. I don't understand why people aren't rejocing with me.
Saved? Yes!
2/4 image - second drawing with tablet, artist - Lee Colouring - Lee Personal Opinion - Not what I wanted but it's a' okay.
Saved? Save Malfunction
3/4 image - third, Lee Personal Opinion - Yucky but kind of cute. I could do better.
Saved? Applet Error. Please retry.
4/4 image - fourth, Lee Personal Opinion - Pretty pretty cool. Kind of sloppy, but kind of neato.
Saved? Applet Error. Please retry.
Lame-o. L-A-M-E-O! Jello!
That was intense.
Soon I'll have pictures of of Christmas things and drawings and blah blah blah but I have to find my batteries first and replace the ones in the camera. Darned batteries. I was all excited and ready for a good night of shooting too. Pulled the styles from my NEW closet and even the outragious make-up. Nothin' good. I can't take pictures at night. Too dark and redish without the flash and too darn bright with it. I have to take pictures in the front room or outside. Those are my options. Kind of crap. I need a studio. That's a dream. I wish I could at least have a studio in my dream. That would rock. Pop rock. s. Let me show you somethings that rocks the.. dirt. It's pretty awesome. I have fallen in love with this photographer and her awesomeness.
EDIT: Well, I would indeed show everyone her awesomeness right here, but I can't seem to control the midset of this darned thing. It just won't cooperate. This new blog layout crap is of the devil. GROSS. Go here for the image I was going to post, and then look at rest of her gallery. She rocks.
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/10456098/
I beat FFX last night. Super. Sad. Mum got me X-2. Yayness. Now I have to start from square and triangles. Eri says the battle system is a little complicated. I'll have to check it out.
I also have the last book of The Giver to read. But I have to finish the Folk Keeper first. But I have to get my labs done first. I have a 28 in there. Scary. And I have to get all my math homework done too. And my social quiz. And I only have two days left. But I have to get the last book back to the English teacher SOON!!! She's a prunehead. She only let my borrow is because I didn't ask her. Mrs. LePage did. She's a sweetie. She's also a crackpot. But she's a sweetie.
Creativity is what I am lacking of the late. I need intense creative impulses. Otherwise I will be forced to throw myself out the window. And that's not very creative either. Ambition. That's something else that I need to pick up while I am out on my mission for creativity. Indeed.
I suppose I should leave you now. It is the morning. Much too morning for me. I am drooping like a dying flower. Good night to you all.
How dramatic.
-Lee
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.::. Lisa .::. 1:18 AM
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12.11.2004
I don't want to sound dramatic but everything that I will say is true. It really does feel like my life is fading away piece by piece. I didn't think I was depressed or stressed before. I was wrong. I've never been so wrong. This is possibly the hardest year I have ever had.
For one thing. I want all of my files back. My music. My videos. My freakin photos. For once I had finally gotten the perfect picture of a flower. I'm a retard and kept putting off uploading it. All of my references are gone. Hiroto's pictures are gone. These are things I could never dream of retreiving. That too. I miss Sandy. I went outside today and had to knock on the wall, pretending it was her over-excited tail hitting the wall ready to devour the endless plains of snow.
Three. Or was it four? That's how many times I have sobbed today. Let's make it clear; the difference between crying and sobbing. My definitions.
Crying - silent tears rolling down the creeks
Sobbing - crouching down into a fetal position on the floor, lips quivering, moaning, tears attacking the eyes.
There. That was my relief.
Emily, I want to call you tomorrow. We shall connive together.
-Lee
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.::. Lisa .::. 10:05 PM
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12.07.2004
I have to draw today. I must. Something!
I's snowing. I'm excited. Yay.
Something that isn't exciting is that apparently I have an ulcer. Gross. I went to a new doctor yesterday and she was really cool. Very blunt. Asked a lot of questions, looked at my face and decided what was wrong. It all made sence too. By the time the two month period of taking meds is up I will be taking 10 pills a day. In two weeks she is going to give me some kind of anti-depressant. That's a little scary. I didn't think I was depressed. I didn't think I was that stressed either, but now that I think of it, I have all the right to be super stressed. She also suggested that I see a councilor. That worries me some. Am I demented? No, she kept telling me that I'm not psycotic or mental. Then why do I need to see a councilor? I don't keep all my emotions and junk inside. Do I? I can''t! I'm always complaining that I hate school and people are insane.
I guess I'm going to school for the afternoon again today. I've missed a week again. Stupid stomach. Leave me alone you.
bleh.
Hmm... someone just said the snow is stopping the martians.
cool
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.::. Lisa .::. 8:26 AM
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