5.26.2006
It’s one of those days where you’re mad so everyone is mad at you.
“You have to learn that you don’t have a life.”
I don’t take sarcasm very, but I don’t think you care. That’s another thing, You are mad, but they don’t care. Fine.
By the way, I am not the host when a guest comes over. I am a child that doesn’t even know their names. We do not know one another, and they did not come to see me. Don’t treat me like your slave.
Don’t criticize me or my friends or my work. You do it out of fun, but haven’t you realized that I don’t see those insults humorous?
Sorry about my dull rant. It's been a little while.
-Lisa
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.::. Lisa .::. 3:44 PM
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5.23.2006
I think I've just about come to the limit with sisterly love. The slivers and hangnails of this relationship are growing, and I'm being drained.
I enjoy her when she's home, and she is constantly thinking about me. But there is a point in me that she never ceases to strike. It is that deepness that is so fragile in both of us that collide. Everything is because of my faults that I contain. Supposedly, I can do no wrong, but at the same time, I can make anyone cry in an instant. How can this come to be?
I want to be alone, but I want to cherish this time of friendship also. There is a careful balance that is being upset and neither of us can figure it out, but I'm sure both of us are aware of it.
Please do not invite me to your heart or your dark feelings about me, I do not wish to know. Please keep these things to yourself and to your own forever listening friend, but do not tell me, for although I act as though I understand and I remain apologetic, my soul is really cutting into my heart and making it bleed painfully for that moment where your and mine heart's collided. Please, keep your dark heart, to your dark soul, and I will do the same with mine.
The past few days have been rough, and they will continue on that same perilous path for quite some time now. Will I ever regain my freedom and solitude? These are questions I can only ask you, for no one else will understand, my friend. I can only ask myself, and drive myself mad, and you, and hope that you will be my warm comfort. I wonder if you will let me hide in you forever. Please keep my secrets and my solace.
In you, I have my last hiding place. While everywhere else has pointing fingers and chattering lips, I have only one last place to store my fleeting solitude.
For this, I thank you.
-Lisa
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.::. Lisa .::. 9:29 PM
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5.04.2006
Oh, I adore this weather. It's so hot but the wind is blowing enough to march all the springy smells of trees and flowers right through my window and they hide out in my room. It's going to storm soon I think. I love the smell of the outdoors just before a rainstorm. My lacey-white curtain is dancing and I can't stop twirling around with it.
The bow fell off my kitty keychain. It was a cute little red bow just under it's ear. I remember that two kitties came in the package so I put the bow on the second one just below its head so it could be like a bow tie on a boy. Girl and boy. I send the boy to Hiroto, but unfortunatly it never got to him. I wish it had. Now my kitty is alone and bow-less. So am I. Hiro moved to Kobe and has no access to his email and he will be there for six months. He said he would snail mail me with his new address, but sadly, none has come yet. It seems as though he left right after emailing me, so my reply didn't reach him in time. What if he lost my address? What if he can't contact me the whole time he's there? I really miss him. Where is Kobe?
I'm sorry for slacking off in my updates. I don't think I've working on my webpage for at least half a year now... I feel bad. I liked my page but I never talk to it anymore. Wah. I haven't been writing either. Here or anywhere. After I finishedmy last piece, all I've been doing is taking notes, not writing though. My plan is to create another world, totally seperate from the one we know. You must understand that creating a world it difficult. I like space and sci-fi things, but I don't understand most of it. That is a trial when I try to make my own. Maybe in this world things don't have to make sense all the time.
Someone, please buy my photos.
I took a picture of a donut.
It has been so nice out lately. Just assume that when I'm not writing here, I'm probably content.
<3
-Lisa
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.::. Lisa .::. 5:17 PM
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