10.31.2003

I read some more of "Stranger in the Chatroom" last night. It's a book written about this group of teenagers that encounter, what we assume to be Satan, in a chatroom. He somehow can hack into their emails and chats whenever he pleases. After a while of testing the faith of these teens he begins to get frustrated and threatens the one boy, Blake, to kill his sister if he didn't do what he wanted.

It really did scare me because Haddon ("Satan's name") confronted Blake in secret and told him in detail that he had been in Blake's house, seen his sister, and even had taken a lock from her hair. He had. He gave strict instructions not to get anyone else involved in this and to go to his mail box and there would be an envelope with instructions and his sister's lock of hair (to prove how close he has been).

It really freaked me out because "Haddon" is real. And he's after me too. I don't know if I could be as strong as Blake in that sort of situation. But he had God on his side and so do I. Maybe I can face that....But....


=Lee


Current Music: MxPx - My Mom Still Cleans My Room

Currently eating/drinking: chewing gum

Current Mood: tired/worried (kinda)

0 comments .::. Lisa .::. 4:35 PM
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10.30.2003

I'm sick of it.

Definition of it = everything


Yes, I am in a very crappy mood. Stay away from me. All of you better beware cause I'm mad. Very mad. I don't know what's wrong with me but a lot is and I wish it would just....well........stop being wrong.

I'm off to hide in my cave now.


=Lee


Current Music: Rebecca St. James - Reborn

Currently eating/drinking: nothing

Current Mood: mad/tired/crappy

0 comments .::. Lisa .::. 6:13 PM
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10.26.2003

Uhh....just stop okay? Stop...

I'm sick of this week....and last week....and that's about it. Really mad am I. I'm just very upset this week so....leave me alone. Things have happened and I don't like it. I'm mad. Very mad. Very....invaded. Something like that.


=Lee


Current Music: video game stuff

Currently eating/drinking: purple yogurt.....?

Current Mood: Tired/invaded

0 comments .::. Lisa .::. 8:30 PM
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10.25.2003

Talking....to .......him. The evil one. The VERY evil one....

Let me give you the highlights

Alrighty, where shall I start? There's this guy(from now on known at Bubba), Bubba, that has been hounding my best friend (from now on known as Cysse), Cysse, to be his girlfriend. Of course, she turned him down. He's not the romantic type, he's not....many other things. But we do know what he IS....annoying. Of course he's annoying...his name is Bubba!

Well, this thing has been going on for quite some time and we finally got it through Bubba's thick skull that CYSSE DOES NOT LOVE BUBBA!! So here he is tonight apologizing but still not quite getting the big picture...Here is my conversation if you really are bored and want to read through it....


Bubba: hey Lee u there at this point in time

Bubba: ??

Lee: yea

Lee: but there is no such thing as a point in time

Bubba: oh k did u get me message from yesterday

Lee: there are no points

Bubba: lol

Lee: after a while, yes

Bubba: oh k so do u for give me

Lee: i don't know

Lee: i don't think you really understand

Bubba: well all I know bout me life is that its hard to make friends and I really siuldnt mess a friendship up because I was to annoying most of the time and I just keept on bugging u and Cysse

Bubba: shouldnt**

Lee: it's not about me

Lee: it's about you and Cysse

Bubba: oh u dont have to worrie bout that any more I like someone else right now in me oppinion I think I like her more than wat I liked Cysse

Lee: see, I knew you wouldn't understand

Bubba: well I'm stupid I dont under Stand as fast as other ppl me brain needs a wihile to figure out things exspcailly my life in a a down side right now and I really need to talk to a friend no a faimily member

Bubba: not**

Bubba: by the way howed things go at the fall fallies

Lee: let me tell you something.....no matter what you say NOW will not make things all happy and better the way you want it. For one thing, you do not know what love is.....at all! You may understand that it is a concept of "pretty boy/pretty girl" but this is the way every simple minded being thinks.

Lee: How do you think Cysse SHOULD have responded to you as you went on and on about how much you wanted to be with her and how much you loved her?! Both of us KNOW that you don't understand what love is!

Bubba: hey its not between a pretty boy and gurl it's more about watys on the inside than the out side

Lee: you're missing the point Bubba!

Lee: why do you think I've never dated anyone?! I haven't found the right one! You don't run around everywhere thinking "I wonder if thats the one. Maybe I'll ask" It'll HAPPEN! You'll both find each other! And trust me, it's not going to be some girl you think is cute in HIGH SCHOOL

Bubba: well I may not now wat it is but I do know that I messed up my only chance and now I'm trying to go on with me life

Lee: You don't even know that much about her! You may know the basics but if she was to ever date anyone she would KNOW them. You do not KNOW her

Lee: oh, sure, go on with your life!? So now you're chasing someone else! I'm telling you! You don't get it!!

Bubba: well I have been trying to know her

Lee: If you cared about her maybe you would realize what frustration you've been putting her though and would leave her alone!

Bubba: acully I'm not chasing her like I did with Cysse I have learnd from me mistacks

Bubba: ppl do do that to

Lee: translate that last sentance to english please

Bubba: people make mistacks

Bubba: do u know if its a fulmoon tonight

Lee: yes they do, but when you make a mistake you cannot take back what you have done!

Lee: i have nooooo idea

Bubba: but instead u learn from it

Bubba: oh k brb

Lee: yes you can learn from it. But when you make that first mistake it ALWAYS stays! YOu may move on to other things but you cannot change what has been done!

Bubba: if u still there u can read this sometiomes I cant control me actions but I do know that when I can watever I did during them I would still be resposible for watever I did when I rote all of those thing and sead all of those tings i was incontrol of my actions and thats why no matter wat I do can parden my mistakes becayse I know that now so no matter wat u guys will remai mad at me for wat I did and I dont really apploguys to anyone but me parents but I have applgyes to other ppl then them in my life but only on a rare occasion on when I really feel bad on wat I have done and when I look back to when I first meet u and some and all the things I have sead I realy do wish I could take it all back but wats done is done and no one can change that.

Lee: and should i believe these things.....?

Bubba: well thats up to u if u want to but I know that there true cause they came from my heart

Lee: you know what, like I said before, this is not my problem. I am not involved in this. This is for you and Cysse to figure out on your own. I am withdrawing from this conversation........ now


That's all for now. And sorry about his bad grammar. I didn't quite understand most of it myself either. I think now that I really shouldn't have said those things. It's really not my bussiness now is it? But....what's done is done. Now I'm going to go rest my brain.


=Lee


Current Music: video game stuff

Currently eating/drinking: purple yogurt.....?

Current Mood: Tired....of course!

0 comments .::. Lisa .::. 8:39 PM
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10.24.2003

Once again, it's been a while since I've written. I can't let this page of mine die like the others! Make me write! Make me write!!!

This week...went by. Seems like everything has been going by really fast...like, faster then I've ever remembered it. When I was younger it was always, "How many more days till Christmas?! I can't wait!!!" But now...

Oh I don't know

I've been reading the Claudie Journals lately. I had read Wolf Tower, the first one, sometime last year and have just recently read the second, Wolf Star. Now I'm on the third, Wolf Queen. I really enjoy reading these because the characters seem so real and the way they react to things. And, I know this is ridiculous but, it makes me sad to read about all this fantasy stuff and then compare it with my life. I ask myself stupid questions like, "Why doesn't this ever happen to me? Why wouldn't anyone do that for me?" Stupid...It's fantasy. It's not real you idiot. But still...I hope it was. I hope that in some strange way it would all become real to me. But sadly...it doesn't.

I know, that's stupid.

Well....I'm feeling too idiotic to say much more at the moment. Maybe I'll write later tonight.

=Lee


Current Music: video game stuff

Currently eating/drinking: cookies

Current Mood: Tired yet wired

0 comments .::. Lisa .::. 10:43 AM
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10.16.2003

Jared is the one shoving.........and .........of course thats ME BEING PUSHED XD

-----Art work done by Jared Bob

0 comments .::. Lisa .::. 7:38 PM
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Hm....How long has it been since I updated this? Oh well....who cares. Too much math involved.

Right, speaking about math, let's talk about school (*cringe*).

I guess things are going okay. So far I haven't seen anyone throw up, there haven't been major hate/kill/die days...only small ones, and all my teachers are pretty cool.

But...I am hated. What do I do about that? Nothing I guess. Nothing I really can do. Its just a nagging question on my brain of, "What have I ever done to you?". Anyway....

Also, for what SCHOOL IS FOR (for those who don't know it's supposed to be for learning) I guess I'm doing OKAY with grades. I wish I was doing better. I know I should study more....I really should. It just seems so hard because I have such a short attention span. I have no idea how I can read books and play video games. I guess they can just keep my attention better because....it's more interesting maybe?

Now, what was I saying?

I saw Julia in school today! She just got back for a short break from college. It was so good to see her!! XD I was supposed to go shopping with her and my sister tomorrow...but I guess things changed. I don't know. It kinda made me upset because my mum said I shouldn't miss a day of school for that. But she's the one that told me we were going to! I remember I was depressed about something (who knows what with me) and she said that would happen (shopping w/ Julie)

Oh well I guess....Sam is coming over anyway so we can practice our song thing for the fall follies. I kinda got worried though. Because my mum said, "well we'll wait to see what Dad says about it." So....what if he says its okay (which I doubt but it could still be a possibility)?? I can't leave Sam hanging! I would like to bring her along if I could go because c'mon! I ASKED HER TO GO TO MY HOUSE PEOPLE!! But....what if she couldn't? That would be....cruel of me.

Gosh, there I go again, those darned WHAT IFs.


Well, I should go do some homework. (smite those homework things)


=Lee

Current Music: Tooth and Nail Records

Currently eating/drinking: Nothin

Current Mood:

0 comments .::. Lisa .::. 6:52 PM
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10.11.2003

Yea, I'm bored. Trying to draw and take quizes at the same time. Found more interesting ones. Check em out and send me your results! (that is....after I put my e-mail up here somewheres...)


You are my Moldy Oranges!


Which object in my refrigerator are you?
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You are Lime.


<<>>???What Kind Of Angel R You???<<>>( Anime Pics )
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Which Shaman King Guy Is Perfect for you
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From Pilot Candidate

0 comments .::. Lisa .::. 3:12 PM
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10.10.2003

*looks around frantically* Where have all the smiles gone?

Sorry if I seemed kinda.......stupidly childish today. I felt abandoned (that is, until i shoved a blue plasticy thing in my mouth. Then for some strange reason everything was all better)

I think I'm okay now. But still tired and non-drawable...or something like that


Current Music:

Currently eating/drinking: ORANGE JUICE!!

Current Mood:

0 comments .::. Lisa .::. 4:40 PM
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10.09.2003

I'VE FIGURED IT OUT!!! They hate me because I have MORE FUN THEN THEM!! GAAH HA HA HA HA!! *sigh of relief* I'm going to be okay now...i think

=Lee



current music: The Elfsong Tavern's song

currently eating/drinking: The remains of hu-....um....my hamburger

current mood: tired of course!

0 comments .::. Lisa .::. 6:49 PM
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10.08.2003

My aimless writing....

Sometimes I wonder if anyone really understands me. I don't see how they possibly could; I don't understand myself. I search for the answers in everything I do, everything I say. I analyze my own life, forever searching for something, but never knowing what I'm for or what I would ever do if I found this "something". I guess I would conclude that from so many different influences from completely opposing thoughts that I have fallen to surrender to my emotions. I search through the lives of others to find that they have reason. But do I? Why do these questions haunt me so? And, what is this thing I search for? I do not come from a disfunctional family and never have I been scarred from the past. If there is no reason then how can there be fault?

0 comments .::. Lisa .::. 7:38 PM
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10.07.2003

Am I hated for being different? Is it my fault for the way people see me? Does no one respect me or my feelings?

And that, as they say, is that...

=Lee


current music: the people in my mind

currently eating/drinking: bologna sandwich

current mood: confused

0 comments .::. Lisa .::. 4:29 PM
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10.04.2003

Today I went to the HCC (Hope Community Center) to video tape for Sam. Her grandma had a surprise 60th birthday party. It was kinda fun setting up. It was almost like a Thanksgiving dinner with her family. I really did enjoy being there (yes, even the kids were fun). We skated around for a while also, something I haven't done in years.

It was all going great. But then something happened...I'm not really sure what. But it wasn't good. Suddenly there just became a strange sort of tensing aura around me and sam. Did we fight? I'm not really sure. My mom came to pick me up and as I walked through the door I had to use all my energy to keep from crying. Why did I want to cry? Did I really want to cry? No, I don't think so... but i did. The moment I stepped into the van and we pulled out of the parking lot I cried...

I hate crying

=Lee

current music: none

currently eating/drinking: nothing

current mood: sad (to put it bluntly)

0 comments .::. Lisa .::. 7:04 PM
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10.01.2003

Where's my sword......

I've decided to go out on a rage and destroy every ('cept a few) little kids that crosses my path...
Uhh, I don't have much to say other then that. I have bunches of homework and a big project I should work on 4 days ago...

And please, don't look at me

=Lee

P.S. panda panda panda panda


current music: MxPx = My Mom Still Cleans My Room

currently eating/drinking: Big ol grapes

current mood: Tired, irritated, hungry

0 comments .::. Lisa .::. 5:02 PM
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