3.27.2006
It's one of those mornings where everyone is mad at me and i can't figure out why.
Why is this happening to me and when will you let me stop crying?
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.::. Lisa .::. 7:59 AM
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3.26.2006
As if being constantly sick wasn't hard enough, I have the school sending me hateful notes saying I better make up my work quick or else!
They're so retarded. It doesn't matter if you are in school and don't do your work, but it's hell if you are out of school for a week and can't function. I hate them I hate them I hate them.
I'm failing math too. Probably with a 40 or something. I hate them I hate them. I want to quit school. I wish I could. I hate them.
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.::. Lisa .::. 3:46 PM
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3.23.2006
Today wasn't so good. Flu. This is a collection of some notes I scribbled while I sobbed in my room.
"1...2...3...This is important so pay attention."
"Stop trying to fix me. It only makes you mad at me. Please just leave me alone."
"I'm sorry for driving you mad. I'm driving me mad too. Did you know I love you?"
"When are you coming to see me? I keep hearing you outside. I'm waiting for you."
"Stop making me cry. It's not my fault."
"Please just forget about me. Please don't forget about me. I can't decide."
"love me please. i love you. love me"
"I'm very sick today and I think it's because of you."
"I'm shaking. Don't look so you can deny it."
"When I say "I'm trying" please don't say, "Try harder." You don't know. Stop getting mad."
"I'm not allowed to be sick anymore. Don't you know that makes it harder? Don't you?"
"Don't say, "How are you?" Just say, "I love you.""
"Can't you see what you're doing to me? Please just love me. Stop asking why."
"I'm all jumbled already so stop trying to shake answers out of me.You're making me sick."
"My thoughts are making me naseaus. Please stop making me think."
"You didn't come, so I went to you. Now I'm crying again and I can't breathe. My breath is cold. But my stomach isn't twitching so much."
"You don't understand what's going through my mind. You make me cry."
"My radio is static-y. I am too. Are you? Don't ask, just love me."
"Stop asking how I feel. I don't want to tell you anymore."
"Sometimes I really think that I'm not the one that matters. It's just society that they don't want to disrupt. I'm a sick girl. Don't you know that making me cry makes it worse? Why can't you understand?"
"I had a dream that pears and apples grew on the same tree."
"I'm melting. sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad I'm running out of room sad sad sad sad sad sad sad I feel sad sad sad"
I was definatly a bad day. My stomach hurts.
-Lisa
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.::. Lisa .::. 11:16 PM
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3.22.2006
Here's some of my letter to emily.
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I've been in to making pants lately. Skirts are for summer, so until then I've been making pants for gym, dressy pants, and jammies. I've been experimenting with stripes and patterns. I need to make a patch for my black ones. Sometimes gym can be untense and I got a hole in the knee. The stripe is green and has yellow and white stars on it :]
Mum got me a camera for my birthday!! I haven't been able to use it full scale yet(not till my actual birthday - it wouldn't be fair). I need to get a card for it too. I tested it for a little while and it only holds ten pictures right now. It's niiiiice. Canon something something. 2434534525. What should I name it? My olympus is kind of dead. It eats up batteries in minutes. Not cool.
ring ring! The phone is ringing. I'm going to call you soon.
School has been definately not fun lately. I've been feeling crummy and been getting behind in math. Right now I'm failing, with what, I don't know. This really stinks. I've never failed a class before. Trig is hard! When she does notes it doesn't seem bad at all, or when I do the homework. I usually get it, but I can be really slow with it. But when it comes to getting a grade I do terrible. I'm in there everyday, at the very least twice a day. It's exhausting. 7 + 4 doesn't mean 7 + 4 anymore. They're changing the rules. I want to play with circles again.
Gah! I hate how some links steal the page you are on. I almost lost this letter.
New camera means new pictures. It's about time I took the kids out for some air. They're all looking kind of down. They still don't have names. I should make them name tags. You need to some up sometime so we can take them to the mall in strollers.
Too bad the hard drive died on the computer so long ago. I had kid pictures from florida. Tare was sitting by the pool and everything. Sob! They need to do some traveling. Maybe I'll take them for some schooling someday. That was be a very educational experience for all of us. Indeed.
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That's all for now. Just wanted to let you know I was here. More next time. I'll give you health updates, story updates, pets updates, and so on. Bet'cha can't wait :P
-Lisa
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.::. Lisa .::. 12:21 PM
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3.07.2006
Let me vent for a while, will you? I had a pretty lousy day.
I have so much work to do, so I'll keep it short. At least I wasn't sick this morning. Well, it started out with the dumb dogs jumping all over me. I am not a dog person! I'm tired of being jumped on by over-excited dogs just because I got out of bed or got dressed! I can't do anything without them trying to lick at me our walk all over me. They like to stare too. Geez.
Then Cami clawed at my foot. He was playing, but even when I smacked him on the head he wouldn't stop. Now I swollen lines and holes all over my foot.
Oh, and we had to be five seconds too late to school so we ended up getting stuck behind MY bus with all the retards staring back at me. I hate those kids. Really hate them. Every one of them. Hate hate hate.
Then I finally got almost ten questions done on my math review. Yay! Only twenty more to do tonight...
I don't want to talk about spanish.
It was mostly just a long day. Felt like throwing up in lunch and my legs got weak.
Totoro, totoro. I wish I had one.
I forgot my social work at home.
English was really what killed my day. Those idiots, amanda and jackie, just don't know how to shut up. So much for respect. Just because I had to read something that was too long for their little heads to handle, they didn't have to be such retards about it.
That's all. I have to go work my butt off now.
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.::. Lisa .::. 2:54 PM
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