5.23.2006
I think I've just about come to the limit with sisterly love. The slivers and hangnails of this relationship are growing, and I'm being drained.
I enjoy her when she's home, and she is constantly thinking about me. But there is a point in me that she never ceases to strike. It is that deepness that is so fragile in both of us that collide. Everything is because of my faults that I contain. Supposedly, I can do no wrong, but at the same time, I can make anyone cry in an instant. How can this come to be?
I want to be alone, but I want to cherish this time of friendship also. There is a careful balance that is being upset and neither of us can figure it out, but I'm sure both of us are aware of it.
Please do not invite me to your heart or your dark feelings about me, I do not wish to know. Please keep these things to yourself and to your own forever listening friend, but do not tell me, for although I act as though I understand and I remain apologetic, my soul is really cutting into my heart and making it bleed painfully for that moment where your and mine heart's collided. Please, keep your dark heart, to your dark soul, and I will do the same with mine.
The past few days have been rough, and they will continue on that same perilous path for quite some time now. Will I ever regain my freedom and solitude? These are questions I can only ask you, for no one else will understand, my friend. I can only ask myself, and drive myself mad, and you, and hope that you will be my warm comfort. I wonder if you will let me hide in you forever. Please keep my secrets and my solace.
In you, I have my last hiding place. While everywhere else has pointing fingers and chattering lips, I have only one last place to store my fleeting solitude.
For this, I thank you.
-Lisa
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.::. Lisa .::. 9:29 PM
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