4.06.2004
So, I haven't done pictures yet. I'm sorry about that. I'm not feeling too well and I have other matters on my hands that I need to attend to.
In and earlier entry I commented on how I don't like to have my stuff critiqued. Well, I finally brought myself to posting one of my old poems in a forum. How can I ever make it better if it's never critiqued? How can I ever make myself known if I'm too afraid to show anyone?
As is, this is simple verse, it isnt ready to be a poem yet. The only device it has going for it is weak structural repetition. It at least sets out the concept you wish to portray, the feeling of Isolation, rejection, and a desire for vengance. At least you now have an Idea what you wish your piece to be about. Now you must decide what genre you wish to write it in, be it traditionalist, modernist, postmodern, etc. Once this is done recast the piece in the genre, it can be a visualization of the scene filled with rich imagery. It can be a fragmented Postmodern collection of moments, pasted together. You could create an extended metaphor, or use deep phrase and develop the meaning out of this. You could even remake it with strict form or rhyme.
Remember that everyone has felt the same way at some point and time, to make this simple statement of emotion into a poem you must present it in a memorable fashion. Increase the technical complexity while not increasing the difficulty of reading. This isnt a poem yet, but it is the place to start one.
That's what the response was. It hurt. But not as bad as I thought it would. It didn't come crashing down on me, killing my senses, but it left this lingering pain in my chest telling me something....
The problem is....I don't know what it's trying to say.
This part disturbed me a bit...
Please actually post your new piece, instead of doing as nearly every other person on here and refusing to revise anything you write out of pure laziness. It is sad, but most likely you will read this and ignore it entirely, forgeting it in whole by the end of the week. It is sad, being that this lesson is one that took me a long time to learn, and I am still struggling with it.
That's what hurt the most. Me? Ignore that?! I'm there to learn. That's why I always go to those forums. I want to make my stuff better. That's always the reason. I knew I shouldn't have. Honestly, I knew it would hurt. But I did anyway. But the truth is, I don't want to rewrite it. I'm scared.
Of what?
Rejection.
=Lee
Current Music: Hikaru Utada - Deep River
Currently eating/drinking: nothing
Current Mood: almost content, maybe a little worried
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.::. Lisa .::. 9:52 AM
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