5.30.2005
It's been a little hard since Asher and Erika came home. Actually, it was hard before that, but as far back as I can remember, it's been quite recently that I haven't been able to figure out how I've felt.
This song makes me want to cry. Balto - Xenogears.
But after it gets through the intro I'm okay.
All week Erika has been working really hard on my lab project. I'd worked on it before she joined and got quite a bit done I thought. But we trashed all that and made something better. She made something better. I act as though I don't appreciate what she's been doing all week, but I really do. I'm just a little dissappointed. I really didn't want to have to do this project, I just feel like a free-loader. Like I'll use her skills to get a good grade. That happened with the mask in english last year too. Everyone was so surprised at how well it looked, but I didn't make it. I supervised; picked out a couple things off the shelf.
If it was up to me, I would have used construction paper like the rest of them. I'm not as creative as I appear.
I feel like a liar.
Spring Lullaby.
I wish I had bought something today when we went to the mall. It would have made me feel better. I should have gotten that game. Or that book. But I was trying to be good. It wasn't my money.
But now I think I should have.
I haven't really gotten to talk to Asher much at all since he's been home. We're going to play some warcraft online later. That'll be nice. I miss him and he's right here.
I've been terribly unsociable for a long time now. It unsociable a word?
Someone outbid me in the Guild Wars auction. That's sad. That may have been the only time I could bond with my brother. I'll keep looking.
I'm on disc two in Grandia now. I'm so glad I got it. It was expensive compared to other things i get. I usually don't get something unless it's less then 10$. Which is quite lame. I was looking for a gameboy SP on ebay the other day and thought 15$ was too expensive for mint condition.
I'm a cheapo.
Some people don't appreciate musicals like they should be appriciated. Some people don't appriciate opera as it should be appriciated. Some people are moldy and phantomish.
So... I watched Phantom of the Opera the other day. It really gave me the chills. It's really sad and haunting. Poor guy. Poor moldy guy.
I was planning on ending this entry on a sad note, but I feel better now. Asher and I went out looking for driftwood down the cliff on the fourwheeler. Of course, now I have a gillion bug bites, but it was really nice. I had to duck a lot to avoid being decapitated by branches and thorn bushes. Hanging onto him on there is almost like hugging him.
I hadn't realized what a woodsman he was until now. We went on the rockwall and got some vines to make a rope and he talked about how he had cut sections of grass with a twig and how it was now full grown again after four years. I hadn't realized that there were actually real grapes out there.
He called it paradise. He's right. It's strange to think of him that way. He's from the middle of no where but prefers the woods and fields. She comes from the middle of no where but prefers the city and stores.
It's like green acres.
I'm being scolded again. I'm only scolded like this when I am no longer an only child. I think that's why I would rather be there.
"And lo, the child would rather be from the center of nothingness that she sees as her own paradise."
-lise
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.::. Lisa .::. 7:21 PM
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