2.06.2006
What a rotten day.
Mom cried most of this morning. And me? I still feel lousy from the other night. I keep poisoning myself with food. Apparently, not only does milk kill, but so does MSGs. Yeah. Meaning I'm not allowed to eat anything anymore. I can have(washed) lettuce and apples(peeled).
I think I'm beginning to hate myself.
Basically, I'm feeling constantly dizzy, nauseous, weak, nervous, and feverish. All besides my stomach either hurting or feeling prickly. Everyday. Especially at night and in the morning. I'm just really depressed now and not wanting to cry, but crying anyway.
Mom's feeling the same way. Hopeless I guess.
I can't decide if I'm angry or irritated or depressed. All I suppose. At least I can mostly cover it up in public. People think I'm a weakling already.
Exercise will cure you! - No it won't. I exercise every night unless I'm too sick to stand.
I need a six month vacation where I can get sunshine and time to figure out what I can eat and what I've been banished from.
So besides feeling sick all the time, why else was your day rotten?
Well, remember those many weeks of stress from figuring out what to do with Akagumi 4? We'd finally replaced the two members with two others and it looked like we were finally going to get out butts moving. Nope. I want to give up now. She said she could do it. So now we're Akagumi 3. Again.
I can't even begin considering a third replacement. I have absolutely no other option in my mind. The sale at Jo-Ann's ends the 17th. I was planning on getting costume supplies during that time, so if there is no replacement by then, I am calling it off. I will burn my lyrics and practice CDs and papers and never think about a group project ever again.
There. How's that for being dramatic?
Look folks, it's the year of the dog.
http://www.deviantart.com/view/28575772/
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.::. Lisa .::. 2:35 PM
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